First Post

Inspired by several other people, I've decided that blogging would probably be a good way for me to document memories our family makes. Due to the fact that we've recently grown exponentially (as far as children go), I feel that it's even more important for me to do so. My title was inspired by my Uncle Craig, who upon hearing that we were expecting another child comment, "You know it's multiplication, not addition, right?" I thought there was probably some wisdom to that and boy was he right! Although we've only been home with Audrey for a few hours short of a week now, it feels like we have way more than two children around this house. Somehow the work and stress have gone up by a factor of at least three, even though we only added one child! That being said, I hope it's not too weird of a title. I was attempting to be creative.

I previously had a different blog, but obviously didn't keep up with it. Starting fresh with this one seemed to make sense, since having a/another baby changes everything and you basically start over with the way life goes. Also, because I'm doing this mainly as a way to document our family history, I apologize if it's boring.

I think it's interesting how we've learned from our mistakes with Samuel when he was a newborn/infant and have (so far) been able to avoid some of them with Audrey. The major area this applies to so far is in feeding/sleep patterns. For the first three weeks we had Samuel at home, I remember a lot of screaming on his part and a lot of feeling like we were losing our minds in the middle of the night on our part. Also, because he was (and still is) such a bad sleeper, he slept in our bed with us for the better part of two months, if not more. I assumed such might be the case with Audrey, but we actually successfully moved her into her bassinet after two nights. My reasons for putting her in our bed those first two nights were two fold - I assumed that I would be up most of the night and having her right there would make it easier to get to her/I could quiet her down quicker and therefore hopefully avoid waking Samuel, and she seemed so "young" compared to how old Samuel was when we brought him home and I was afraid to have her even five feet away from me in the bassinet. Ridiculously long sentence, I know. Anyway, our first night home with Audrey was amazing compared to the same one with Samuel. She only woke up around every two hours and went right back to sleep after I fed her - it felt like a dream! I felt great the next day and was hopeful for the future. With both of these munchkins, we had to go to the pediatrician the day after we were discharged from the hospital. For Samuel, it was because they couldn't check his bilirubin at the hospital before we left, because the machine was "down." It was quite disappointing to hear that, since they stuck him twice for the sample before discovering that fact. Being a new mom, I was unaware that getting his bilirubin rechecked was the entire reason for his "required" pediatrician visit, and I willingly scheduled his appointment for the next day. Bad idea. I got maybe 30 minutes of sleep at a time because the child acted like he was literally about to starve the entire night. We barely made it to the pediatrician's office intact, definitely no showers had by either of us, and I fed Samuel in the car while Brad waited in the waiting room. The pediatrician thought Samuel looked great and commented that we definitely did not need to recheck his bilirubin because he had gained back to his birthweight before we were even discharged from the hospital - take a second to imagine how often I was feeding this child in order for that to happen - and the whites of his eyes were perfectly white. Well, DUH! I could've figured that out without the subsequent charge to my insurance and $20 copay on our part! Anyway, back to our visit with Audrey. We had a great night, I obviously couldn't drive yet, so we all loaded into the Pilot for the first time and headed out. Brad and Samuel went to Best Buy while I was at the pediatrician with Audrey, so as to avoid our "wrecking ball" of a kid destroying everything in sight. I of course was there for an hour and heard almost exactly the same thing about her that was said about my five day old Samuel. On top of that, they put me in a room where Samuel had previously received a rocephin shot (to no avail) for one of his many ear infections during his first year, and being in the weepy post-partum state I was in, I immediately started to bawl and was desperately trying to pull myself together before anyone came in the room so as to avoid being asking if I was "okay." The icing on the cake with the visit for Audrey was that our pediatrician had forgotten to report off to the pediatrician who was supposed to be rounding in the hospital the day we were discharged, which prompted our visit to the office. We waited all day at the hospital for a neonatologist to come check her out, and he made us "promise" to take her for a visit because we were being discharged early (before she was 48 hours old). Good thing he let us go, because I had been a literal basket case all day due to missing Samuel and wanting to come home. Oh - rabbit trail off of the many I'm already on - we were pleased to receive a separate bill from the neonatologist's office a couple of days after getting home because they bill separately than the hospital, and one of them came to see our child while we inpatient. I am very tempted to call that office and let them know that they can call our pediatrician's office for all of the insurance and working information they are "requiring" of us, since our pediatrician's office is the one who made the intial referral. It seems that we cannot get out of the hospital without some kid of ridiculous and life-altering "glitch" occurring. I was just thankful that Audrey passed her hearing screen right off and that she (obviously) didn't have to be circumcised. Samuel had both done in succession and no one told us until the night before discharge that he had failed his hearing screen on his right ear three times - they use the term "referred" and of course I knew exactly what they meant by that, having had a baby two days earlier and being without sleep for three nights! We definitely had a much better hospital stay this time overall, since I didn't end up having an emergency c-section, and the aforementioned things went more smoothly, but home birth is starting to make more and more sense to me, except for the lack of opportunity for pain relief in the form of medication/epidurals.

Anyway, the next two nights were increasingly bad, but we got back on track Friday night. I don't know if Audrey exactly has her days and nights mixed up - it seems more like she has the right idea, because she's so sleepy at night that it's nearly impossible for me to get her to eat well and then she wakes up hungry in about an hour. During the day, she stays awake and eats really well, although she definitely sleeps a lot between feedings. The worst time is between about 1 AM and 5 AM, but I'm definitely taking it all in keeping in mind what a much more difficult time we had with Samuel. She is just waking up, somewhat fussing, and eating frequently, not screaming for hours on end without relief! I realized after we arrived home last Tuesday that my greatest fear about nighttime was that she would be like Samuel and he would end up being awake all night, too! On our worst night to date, last Thursday, he did wake up when she was crying around midnight, and it was not a fun time. I was so upset because I felt badly for him, plus I didn't know how we were going to make it through the night or any other night that ended up being like that, but we did make it. I was Psalm 30:5 personified - weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes with the morning! Subsequent nights have been much quieter, although I won't deny that I have struggled to stay awake at times! I am looking forward to getting out of the house a little more in the future - the only other time I've left the house since the pediatrician appt (which, by the way, the office is maybe 2 miles from our house), is to go to Chick-fil-A with our good friends the Kennedys on Saturday evening. It was a very enjoyable outing for me, although it did get a little stressful when Samuel lost it because he had to leave the play area! Anyway, it was worth getting out! We're making baby steps of progress. With Samuel, I ended up having to go back to my OB so often due to my incision dehiscing and all of the subsequent issues with that that I didn't feel like leaving the house for any other reason and was a little "down" for quite a while - I think I lived off of double stuf oreos for two weeks - that really helped with losing the baby weight (and probably with the wound healing as well)!

Since having Samuel, my opinions on healthcare and especially pediatrics have evolved quite a bit. Obviously I work in pediatrics, although in a specialty area, and I have never been one to think that you (as a parent or a health care consumer) must do exactly as any health care provider/physician directs you, simply because they say so. I have always believed that physicians merely have educated opinions on things that we do not necessarily deal with as commonly as they do, and you should take what they say and consider it as valuable information as you make a decision. For instance, in my specialty, pediatric oncology, I do not think that any parent is obligated to allow their child to go on a study or be given a prescribed treatment course merely because it is recommended by their child's physician(s). God gave that child to you and therefore it is your responsibility to make an informed decision to the best of your ability as He guides you. We have not had to deal with anything like that in our family at this point, but I am almost starting to get resentful of pediatrics and their whole "schedule" of when you need to bring your child in for "well" check-ups and the like. I did as I was told with Samuel and we ended up going in probably at least twenty times in his first year, due to the combination of well child check-ups and his many sick visits. I never strongly questioned anything until Samuel had his second ear infection at four months of age and the word "tubes" started flying out of the mouths of seemingly every person I encountered. I had absolutely no desire for my child to be placed under general anesthesia for even a "minor" procedure at less than six months of age! I started doing some reading - thank you nursing school and grad school for helping me perfect the art of a literature search - and found that tubes have not been shown to improve any developmental outcomes (hearing and speech) in children who get them when compared with those who do not. Chronic "serous otitis" is not going to make your child deaf or even delay language skills. All we hear about at work and in nursing is "evidence-based practice," that is, basing the things you do (practices) on proven methods that are effective and necessary, shown via research (evidence). Well, the majority of recent evidence I read showed that tubes are not necessary and this was the approach I took when discussing the topic with others. Everyone acted like I was a total nutjob, including our pediatrician, who I know has only been in practice for fewer than 10 years and I feel should make recommendations based on current evidence! We had this "fight" for several months, while we went through three rounds of antibiotics for the second ear infection (one including three days of rocephin shots, which did nothing) that lasted for five weeks, and then a third one that wasn't quite as bad but during which I was convinced to "try" rocephin again and again it did nothing! After all of this, wasn't I pleased to read in the headlines that exposure to three or more rounds of antibiotics in the first eighteen months of life increases ones risk for developing asthma exponentially? I was especially pleased about this when Samuel developed his first wheeze and had to be placed on two inhalers when he developed the flu - two weeks after completing his "required" round of flu shots! I know that the flu shot only "covers" one strain and he likely developed the flu from a different strain, but it certainly made his suffering seem for naught. We didn't get to see our pediatrician for the visit when he was diagnosed with the flu, and actually have only seen him once for a "sick" visit, but the pediatrician we did see, who recognized that I am educated on the matter, mentioned something along the lines of, "Have you discussed the possibility of asthma with your pediatrician? You know..." and I finished his thought, "Yes, I know that there is a correlation with ezcema (which Samuel has) and subsequent asthma development and he's also been on many different antibiotics, but no, we haven't discussed that." I think I kind of made a face that let him know I wasn't interested in discussing it, either. So, yeah, after all of that, I (kind of subconsciously) decided that we were no longer going to the pediatrician for sick visits, unless it was a matter of life or death. We were supposed to take Samuel in for a recheck in a couple of weeks, but of course he got sick again and I wasn't interested in putting him on anything for it, so we layed low at home and he eventually recovered. When we went in for our next well child visit, our pediatrician commented that Samuel's ears were "still" a little red and he gave me a prescription to fill at my discretion, since he said he trusts my judgment on whether Samuel actually has a full blown ear infection or not. I definitely did not fill that prescription, after further research revealed that not only do multiple rounds of antibiotics increase your risk for developing asthma, but they have not reliably been shown to get rid of ear infections - i.e., most of the time your kid's ear infection is probably cleared up because of his own bodily defenses given to him by God, rather than medication. That pretty much eliminates any reason for me to take him in when he's sick, since I trust my own ability to assess and "treat" him for minor things. So, yeah, when I knew we had another one on the way, I started thinking about well child check-ups and realized that it sort of offends me that I'm supposed to take my child in at these specified intervals in order for an "expert" in childhood illnesses (not even really child-rearing) to make sure that I haven't screwed him or her up too badly? As I started reading, I came to realize that most of the well child check-ups center around vaccinations, and it's sort of just an excuse to bring you in at all. I, again, feel that God gave my children to ME and therefore it is my responsibility to make decisions on their behalf that are in their best interests. He did not give my children to the CDC or to the Federal government, so they are not in a position to tell me what is best for my children. After seeing how sick my poor Samuel got after several of his rounds of immunizations (not necessarily related to the specific vaccines, but moreso to the fact that getting them occupied his immune system and other illnesses were given an opportunity to thrive), I realized I wanted to back off on the "schedule" the CDC recommends. He has not been "sick" a while now, and I don't want to go back down that road again! I also don't want to go back down that road with my new baby - I would hate for her to be sick for that long - it felt like Samuel was sick continuously from the day after I went back to work (3 months) until around this April or so (16 months). Not fun. So, yeah, I decided that I really don't want Audrey to even get some of the vaccinations that Samuel has already received until a later date - I am not opposed to vaccination, I just want to slow down the pace at which my children receive them. For instance, the Hepatitis B series for which you receive the first shot shortly after birth - I started thinking - what would put my child at risk for this disease? It is blood and bodily fluid-borne and I do not have it, so that eliminated her need to receive it right after birth (according to current recommendations). I'm pretty sure she won't be a health-care worker in the next few years, and the "risky sexual behaviors" better not be an issue, so I would think it's okay to wait until she's at least school age to do that one. I talked with a friend at work about this and she pointed out some interested things - Rotatec, which is supposed to prevent Rotavirus, is it really necessary? The major risk with Rotavirus is extreme dehydration due to excessive diarrhea - am I going to let my child get that sick before taking her in to be seen or at least get some fluids? No! Also, Prevnar, which is supposed to prevent ear infections, probably actually contributed to the development of a couple of Samuel's because it put that "thought" into his body. The insult of the immunization could have been just enough to lead to a full-blown ear infection. That really helped my Mom-guilt. I don't want Audrey to get either of those - I just don't see a need. Even the Varicella vaccine - the major risk with the chicken pox is encephalitis - again, am I going to let my child get that sick without seeking care for her? No way! In addition to these things, the major point of vaccinating children in the US (supposedly) is to reach the point of "herd immunity," where those who are vaccinated cover the "gap" left by those who are not. The news and those in pediatrics definitely don't reflect that supposed purpose. I mentioned to one of the nurses at Samuel's last check-up that I wanted to hold off on more shots, and she said, "Well, you don't want him to get behind, because then he could get really sick!" Well, sorry lady, but my child's already been pretty sick several times, and that was while he was getting everything "on time." So, I actually went against my pediatrician's advice, and Samuel hasn't gotten any shots since he was 12 months old. It is sort of a coincidence that it's been that long, because he was "sickish" at this 15 month check-up and I somewhat forgot about the 18 month one because we were ridiculously busy, I was very pregnant, and he was doing well and I didn't see the need to take him in. I am thinking about taking him in for a check-up when we go to Audrey's 2 week check-up, but I wonder if our insurance will cover an 18 month check-up when he's 21 months old? I guess we'll see.